Yes - starting over AGAIN!!!
I'm getting up the courage to talk about my fear of being left if I drop the rest of my weight. I know - I know... I've been avoiding the topic and avoiding doing my shots and just plain procrastinating and avoiding. I think part of the fear too is that I won't be validated in how I feel - if that makes sense... That the whole thing will be dismissed - and maybe that's what I also need to communicate - yah know! I like blogging this out because it helps me to think of what and how I want to say what I have bottled up for so many years. And sometimes things come out through my writing that I don't even realize are sitting under the surface... Does that make sense?
So, inevitably I am loading over this weekend to start the protocol yet again!!! DAMN - this is taking so much longer than I wanted or anticipated - but I am hanging in there!!! Still maintaining Started at 205.6 and was up 3 lbs with the load from yesterday... So tomorrow will be the starting weight - we'll see where I start off from... Keep praying for me and rooting for me - I really want to do this and am going to push past these fears and realize that no matter what I am worth it!
So, inevitably I am loading over this weekend to start the protocol yet again!!! DAMN - this is taking so much longer than I wanted or anticipated - but I am hanging in there!!! Still maintaining Started at 205.6 and was up 3 lbs with the load from yesterday... So tomorrow will be the starting weight - we'll see where I start off from... Keep praying for me and rooting for me - I really want to do this and am going to push past these fears and realize that no matter what I am worth it!
posted by Anonymous at
2:35 PM
2 Comments:
Hi! I wish you well on your journey. I hope you continue to do well. You have done an awesome job to lose 100 pounds. What do you mean being left? You are worth it, no matter what anyone says or thinks. I totally understand what your last post. I have been feeling the same way, like I won't be validated. Continue to post. I will be starting the protocol after I have surgery this week. Keep up the good work. I will be your encouragement buddy. It may sound easier said than done but pray about your fears. You can overcome them. I have may of my own, too many if you ask me. You were not given the spirit of fear. Please continue to finish. I am sure when you get to that point when all you have to do is watch what you eat, you are going to cry but be thankful.
Thank you - sorry it's taken so long to respond... I am still hanging in but still battling this last emotional battle with being left... I cannot even begin to explain it in words and I know that is what it is... UGGGGGHHHH
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