Uncovered

I believe through conversation with my neighbor which I've known since I was 6 years old. That I've uncovered why it is that I have not been able to get to the 100's again. Every time that I have almost reached my ideal weight - someone leaves me. The first time when I was of a normal size at age 9 my dad left our family - then my weight ballooned at that time. Then I reached an almost normal weight when I was in my early twenties - then my grandmother died (she was my favorite grandmother and I almost had a nervous breakdown). The next time was after I had my children in 1998 - when I thought I was in love and the man I was involved with stated that I would leave him once I got to a normal weight. Although my conscious mind knows and can rationalize that his cheating on me had nothing to do with my weight loss - it was about the same time I discovered that he was cheating. So, my subconscious mind equates being of a normal size to being abandoned and being left alone. Now that I have this ironed out - I can finally progress to the next level of my weight loss journey. Good Lord how many months/years did it take me to get to that discovery. Some of you out there will identify with what I'm stating and some will not! My weight has been twofold protection - keeping men/relationships at bay and when I do have them keeping them together - NOT!!!

Here's something else interesting - I haven't had so many men approach me since I was in my early twenties as I have in the last 3 months. I don't know if it's that they smell I have someone in my life or if it's I have a new pep in my step??? I just find it interesting! I just smile and say have a wonderful day - walk away and realize how blessed I am that God put the man he did into my life.