PROGRESS DOWNWARD! YES!!!!

Okay so, I'm ready now! RU ready to see me fly???? I know I've said it before but now that I've identified what it is then I can start to address the issues that have been laying just under the surface of my success in finally shedding these last few pounds! Here's the interesting part - I didn't even know that I had abandonment issues - I dealt with it with my mother for years. I think that is were some of my insecurities stem from - even self-esteem issues. If that even makes sense?!?!?!?!? It probably does to those who have struggled with their weight most if not all of their lives. You know what I am so grateful for with this protocol? Is that it really does stabilize your weight. I've continued to stay below 212 lbs which is amazing to me.. That may also be why I've been struggling these last few rounds is that this was a comfortable weight for me - this is where I'd been happy for a long time - as an older teen early 20's before my life became chaotic with the responsibilities of adulthood then children. It was a time when I was somewhat free - somewhat without responsibility of taking care of my mother and I didn't have children. It was a time where I could be away and just be me. That would probably be the only thing I miss about my early adulthood is having some freedom to be me. I struggle with this aspect of my life sometime too... The dedication to raising my kids, the responsibility of taking care of all of life - house, chores, finding a job, bills all of the above. I am experiencing quite a bit of stress at the moment with trying to find a job to make my bills. It really SUCKS - to say the least. I am having to make choices between letting some of my bills go at the moment and my credit going to trash - but it's either that and keep my house and utilities on and food in our bellies. I hate it though I was on my way to being out of debt before my mother died! I went deep into debt to keep the house and fix it up and pay off my brother and in some aspects I am wondering if I should have sold it! I just don't know at this point in time! But the alternative is that if I'd let the house go with my being unemployed there's the likelihood we would be without a place to live. The good news out of this is I did go down on the scale though 2.4 lbs the last couple days - not sure which days but that the cumulative total! I keep blogging - it keeps me sane in my little weight loss world. TTFN