AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH - BANG HEAD INTO WALL

I was doing so good - started out as an apple day... Then I read Cindy's book after I was already 4 apples in... I should have read the entry first!!! I contacted her and I was doing it ALL WRONG! I drank loads of liquid - 4 apples and I found out from reading that I was supposed to start the apples at lunch time... Too late started them first thing in the morning... Then I got home and I was sooooooo stinkin' hungry!!! Pooey and phooey I went into sabotage mode... So, tomorrow I'm going to do it right! I'll see what the scale shows in the morning and if I'm still in STUPID MODE - I'll try for another apple day and do it the right way. I think my hunger stemmed from eating the apples too early in the day???? Not positive as I haven't been good at logging my food, mood and hunger. But I know I've done better on days when I've had oranges and strawberries. I'm not a huge fan of apples and I'm pretty sure I am one that they trigger hunger. So, again we'll see how the scale looks in the morning. I am determined to finish up this round with at least a few pounds more lost from my LIW. I'm still 4.2 lbs below - not stellar for the round by any means but you know what? It's down and not a gain above my LIW!!! And if I look at it from the perspective of what I gained in my load days I'm actually down 8.4 lbs for the round. So, I won't continue to beat myself up - I've had some success and LOADS of self-discovery. I have my first counseling appointment on Wednesday with the specialist in eating disorders. Now, I will be able to get to the ROOT CAUSE of my emotions that literally drive me into the arms of food for comfort. Meeting with the counselor to work on these issues is both exhilarating and frighting at the same time but aren't they synonymous?