Evaluating Worth
When you look in the mirror - what do you see? Do you see a person who is worth loving? A person who is worth being a friend too? A person of utmost value? A role model? Do you see someone who has visions, dreams and goals for their life? OR Do you see questions all over your life? Do I deserve to be loved? Do I deserve good quality people in my life? Do I deserve to be treated well by others with honesty and respect? Do I flounder through life not knowing where I'm going?
I've struggled with many of these and sometime still do when I let my self-esteem dip or I am not treating myself with love and respect. I've found though that when you treat yourself well and love yourself other pieces of your life begin to fall into place. I still struggle daily with making the right food choices - but I am getting there... Again not as swiftly as I'd like to... But once I dig my heels in there is not turning back... I'm pretty stubborn that way. My mother used to call me one way Toni... That is because once I got my mind set - there's a lot of convincing that has to occur to turn me in another direction. It's a challenging quality - because when it's used for good then it's awesome - but when it's used for evil - LORD HELP EVERYONE ON THE RECEIVING END!!! Just kidding - but when it's used in a self destructive manner is when the only one that it really hurts is myself. I've been recommending morning pages to Cherie - but I'm going to start doing them too - I haven't done them in a long time. I think it's somewhere on my blog but the gist is that you write for 3 pages everything that you are thinking - good, bad, sporadic without editing it... Just write first thing in the morning or just before you go to bed... When starting this process you do it for 6 weeks - tear out the pages and shred them - do not read... After the 6 weeks you can start reading what you're writing because you've gotten rid of all the junk.
I've also made a decision this past week - that I'm going to live for and enjoy every moment. I cannot change my past - tomorrow hasn't happened yet - and I will relax and enjoy every moment with those that I love. I'm always one to worry - what's the next step, what will happen next, what if I do this, what if I do that... I tend to over analyze too many things and the people around me instead of just letting things happen. To an extent it's still good to be on guard and aware of what's going on but not to worry so extensively about that it makes you and those around you CRAZY!!!
I still know what I ultimately want for myself and my life - it's the process of getting there. I'm a I want it yesterday kind of person - so driven in some areas to the point of perfectionism. I know I've talked about this on the blog before that perfectionism can be paralyzing. That if it's not perfect or I'm not perfect or what I'm doing isn't perfect then I can have a tendency to stop cold in my tracks and give up. I know it's kind of an oxymoron that I dig my heals in and not stopping coupled with the perfectionism that stops me in my tracks - HAHAHAHA too funny!!!
It's all a process of discovery - oh and I finally quit smoking and didn't eat my way through it... I haven't gained from it either so I'm very proud of myself for that! I've babbled enough - I'm going to go for now and this mornings weight was 205 even. So yes I'm still stabalized and haven't really lost but I'm back on plan with fresh hcg mixed!
I've struggled with many of these and sometime still do when I let my self-esteem dip or I am not treating myself with love and respect. I've found though that when you treat yourself well and love yourself other pieces of your life begin to fall into place. I still struggle daily with making the right food choices - but I am getting there... Again not as swiftly as I'd like to... But once I dig my heels in there is not turning back... I'm pretty stubborn that way. My mother used to call me one way Toni... That is because once I got my mind set - there's a lot of convincing that has to occur to turn me in another direction. It's a challenging quality - because when it's used for good then it's awesome - but when it's used for evil - LORD HELP EVERYONE ON THE RECEIVING END!!! Just kidding - but when it's used in a self destructive manner is when the only one that it really hurts is myself. I've been recommending morning pages to Cherie - but I'm going to start doing them too - I haven't done them in a long time. I think it's somewhere on my blog but the gist is that you write for 3 pages everything that you are thinking - good, bad, sporadic without editing it... Just write first thing in the morning or just before you go to bed... When starting this process you do it for 6 weeks - tear out the pages and shred them - do not read... After the 6 weeks you can start reading what you're writing because you've gotten rid of all the junk.
I've also made a decision this past week - that I'm going to live for and enjoy every moment. I cannot change my past - tomorrow hasn't happened yet - and I will relax and enjoy every moment with those that I love. I'm always one to worry - what's the next step, what will happen next, what if I do this, what if I do that... I tend to over analyze too many things and the people around me instead of just letting things happen. To an extent it's still good to be on guard and aware of what's going on but not to worry so extensively about that it makes you and those around you CRAZY!!!
I still know what I ultimately want for myself and my life - it's the process of getting there. I'm a I want it yesterday kind of person - so driven in some areas to the point of perfectionism. I know I've talked about this on the blog before that perfectionism can be paralyzing. That if it's not perfect or I'm not perfect or what I'm doing isn't perfect then I can have a tendency to stop cold in my tracks and give up. I know it's kind of an oxymoron that I dig my heals in and not stopping coupled with the perfectionism that stops me in my tracks - HAHAHAHA too funny!!!
It's all a process of discovery - oh and I finally quit smoking and didn't eat my way through it... I haven't gained from it either so I'm very proud of myself for that! I've babbled enough - I'm going to go for now and this mornings weight was 205 even. So yes I'm still stabalized and haven't really lost but I'm back on plan with fresh hcg mixed!
posted by Anonymous at
6:20 PM
2 Comments:
I'm laughing with you because I was thinking about this earlier in the week. From middle school, I knew I needed good grades, extracurricular activities, etc. to get into college. I worked hard and knew what I had to do. When it comes to food, I fail. I would love it to be easier. I have finally stopped questioning myself and started questioning the people that made me start doing it anyway. I'll leave it there. This is suppose to be a comment and not my blog entry :-)
u are too funny miss lady - I hope we meet someday!!!
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