Stark Raving Mad
I think I have completely lost me mind. I've gone stark raving mad - actually I just call it self-sabotage. I have not at all been on protocol - I've been shoving food in my face and I don't even know why!!! I'm somewhat disappointed in myself - and frustrated with myself. Not sure if it is all the YOU LOOK GREATS or what my problem is. Please don't take this as whining because that is not what it is - I am required to blog as part of this protocol. So, here I am confessing my fat sin on public blog. How's that for public humiliation :P~~~
Well, I've got it out of my system - I'm not having to start completely over from scratch - but as I haven't gained it all back. But since I've been completely out of my mind STUPID - I will be doing the 43 days. I've missed two shots in a row this week but I don't consider this a loss - I'll begin my shots again this evening and skip next Saturday. BLAH BLAH BLAH - I've had my "Fun" or insanity moment - now it's time to get my butt in gear and back on plan. I just wish there were a magic pill I could take for moments of insanity - moments of weakness - moments of PURE STUPIDITY!!!! So - here we go again... KNOCK IT OFF AND GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND GET BACK TO THE PROGRAM!!!
I'm done being stupid - as a matter of fact - I said I was going to write down my motivators and my reason for doing this protocol and carry them with me. So, as soon as I'm done confessing and writing this blog - I'm getting a shower - I stink from working in my house all day long today. I'm so grateful - my friend came to help me today. I got one of my desks setup with the speakers. Both the desk and the speakers have not been setup for over two years. Basically from depression and not being motivated. But the sun the last two days have done a miraculous boost in my energy and my attitude. I wish it were staying - I'm bummed that it is going back to the cold weather. I am so tired of rain and cold I could just spit! But now that I've gotten a little more cleaned up and out of my house with the help of my wonderful friend - I'm hoping that will help with the depression and unmotivated slump I've been in. It has been very hard to get motivated to get rid of all the stuff that is in my house. Not quiet sure if it's because of depression or if it's some weird way of holding onto my mother. My mom was a packrat and I have a lot - and I am not kidding a lot of stuff to go through and get rid of out of my house. I'm making baby steps - and it's taken me a year to get this far - but I can actually see my kitchen counters (most days) - I have a dining room table to eat dinner at but I had to clear space in my dining room in order to bring my table up from storage. So, now that I've confessed and blogged some pretty strange things - I'm off to "unstinkify" myself...
Have a blessed evening and day tomorrow!!!
Well, I've got it out of my system - I'm not having to start completely over from scratch - but as I haven't gained it all back. But since I've been completely out of my mind STUPID - I will be doing the 43 days. I've missed two shots in a row this week but I don't consider this a loss - I'll begin my shots again this evening and skip next Saturday. BLAH BLAH BLAH - I've had my "Fun" or insanity moment - now it's time to get my butt in gear and back on plan. I just wish there were a magic pill I could take for moments of insanity - moments of weakness - moments of PURE STUPIDITY!!!! So - here we go again... KNOCK IT OFF AND GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND GET BACK TO THE PROGRAM!!!
I'm done being stupid - as a matter of fact - I said I was going to write down my motivators and my reason for doing this protocol and carry them with me. So, as soon as I'm done confessing and writing this blog - I'm getting a shower - I stink from working in my house all day long today. I'm so grateful - my friend came to help me today. I got one of my desks setup with the speakers. Both the desk and the speakers have not been setup for over two years. Basically from depression and not being motivated. But the sun the last two days have done a miraculous boost in my energy and my attitude. I wish it were staying - I'm bummed that it is going back to the cold weather. I am so tired of rain and cold I could just spit! But now that I've gotten a little more cleaned up and out of my house with the help of my wonderful friend - I'm hoping that will help with the depression and unmotivated slump I've been in. It has been very hard to get motivated to get rid of all the stuff that is in my house. Not quiet sure if it's because of depression or if it's some weird way of holding onto my mother. My mom was a packrat and I have a lot - and I am not kidding a lot of stuff to go through and get rid of out of my house. I'm making baby steps - and it's taken me a year to get this far - but I can actually see my kitchen counters (most days) - I have a dining room table to eat dinner at but I had to clear space in my dining room in order to bring my table up from storage. So, now that I've confessed and blogged some pretty strange things - I'm off to "unstinkify" myself...
Have a blessed evening and day tomorrow!!!
posted by Anonymous at
8:47 PM
2 Comments:
Toni,
First of all, remember that YOU'RE NOT ALONE here. We're all here to support each other.
With that said, I think you should stop beating yourself up and BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Believe me, I know how you feel - it's not easy to have to blog publicly about gaining weight.
I'll share some advice that Cindy Cook gave me a couple of days ago: "let's turn this into a positive". And you know what? She's absolutely right! Chances are, there are a lot of people who may find themselves in the same boat. And when you and I show that we CAN get through this and HOW we get through this, then other folks will see that they can, too.
I admire you for keeping it together as well as you have, considering the stuff you're going through. Come with me, and let's get back on this program together, my friend - we WILL succeed!
Oh Susan,
Thank you for your kind words... I'm doing well this morning... Right on plan and feeling GREAT!!! I'm getting back up on the horse and we're going to ride this to the end!!! TTFN
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