Lies and Truth...

What is truth? How do you convince someone that you had no malintent- that you're speaking the truth... I myself have never understood why people lie... My memory is so bad I couldn't keep a lie straight if I tried!!! I watched too much of this growing up with my mother's alcoholic friend - lies - malicious behavior - cruelty and manupulation at its best. I have no respect for those who lie/manipulate others. I've never had time for this in my life and have weeded those people out of my life.

I am human and I'm going to screw up and I'm going to make mistakes! AND I own up to those errors - walk straight into the fire and take ownership of my mistakes... I'm frustrated and don't know what to say... Inside I'm crying out and want to be understood and still have my fears that I always have to lay at the feet of Jesus... He's the only one that truly knows the intent of my heart... Sometimes I wish other's could see me transparently - that I could let go of all the barriers - maybe it's safer just to stay - but I don't want to stay the way I am being all closed up - I have a whole person to give - full of love, acceptance, genuine faithfulness and honesty - a treasure hidden away in my heart - ready to blossom forth...

I'm rambling - think I'll go walk at the water now!!! I did have some peanut butter - so yes off protocol - but I stopped myself there with the emotional eating!!!! Off I go!